So uhh. Managed to stop cal intake once i hit just under maintence yesterday... yea no
Today has been full out binging purging
I dont feel like posting meals. I lost count of my calories.
I feel like death from all the purging. I think i got a lot oouuut. From uh..puke inspections. Aka sticking my non purging hand into the toliet to try to figure out how much of everything i got out.
I got another new cut on my knuckles, thx teeth. But honestly i hate hate hate using objects like spooms or toothbrush handles to purge. Its just not as effective.
Some people can purge hands free... im so jealous... I hurt my throat so much everytime bc i pretty much have to jam 4 fingers into it and ram em around violently, ofcourse while bent over head below stomach...while jumping...while punching and pushing into my stomach. I beg some of them to tell me how tf they do it but all i get told is "you'll just figure it out after purging for a while" it's been a fucking while. How many years will it take b4 i can spare my knuckles and not beat uo my throat?...
Hard to believe i used to be able to purge just sitting infront of the toliet using one finger. Those were the fukkin days.
Idk if it's ever made my head hurt as much as it is rn.
Im prob going to fucking gain...so...much..fml.
The last thing i need rn is more fat